Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Waiting

It's been a while since my last post.  The holiday season is a crazy one and I have let this slide. Sorry!

I have exciting news!  Our completed notarized home study came in the mail this week....which means we are on to our next step!  Filling out an i800a-an application that is sent to US immigration.  We need USCIS approval before sending in our dossier.
I am waiting on a couple supporting documents that need to be included with our i800a.  I should have the complete application ready to be mailed January 2nd!!!  Then we will wait...

There seems to be quite a bit of waiting.  Unfortunately, waiting is not something I am very good at.

This week I watched a documentary- Bulgaria's Abandoned Children. It is from 2007 and shows the condition of an orphanage in Bulgaria and what life is like for the orphans living there.

I put a link to the documentary on facebook.  I know it is long- but if you wonder at all about the plight of orphans-check it out if only to see the footage shot at 73:40-  it shows a girl- then a picture of her- then a picture of the same girl, when she first arrived at the orphanage, is placed over her current picture.

 Twelve years between those two pictures.  Twelve years of hunger- pain- isolation.

The facility was closed in 2009.  There is an article link below the video- where you can see where some of the kids are now and how they have improved.  And they have improved!

Many homes for orphans are still open. Our little girl is in one.  And no, they are not all like the orphanage in this video. Some are better.  But right now, someone I know through Reece's Rainbow is in Eastern Europe- hoping to travel home soon with her newly adopted 8 year old.

Her little girl who doesn't quite weigh ten pounds.

It's hard to wait because I've seen what life can be like for these children.

The orphaned babies are often in nicer institutions until they are moved- as young as 3 yrs- to a different place.

It is hard to think about and even harder to watch (the documentary), but these little lives- in a way- depend on someone seeing them.

I want to say this... There are workers at the orphanages who genuinely care for the children.  There are workers who do not BUT there are workers who do.  In either case they so often do not have the resources to properly care for the children.

If you watch the documentary, the problem is much deeper than the care given at the orphanages.  There is a general mind set that these children are born "diseased".  The malnutrition and neglect are not contributing to their sickness- but a symptom of their disease.  They are born this way.

There is also a reliance on government and an almost blind loyalty to the government.

 Children who are sent to the hospital- are returned with no treatment.  Their healthcare is covered by the government, but in many places they are simply not treated.  So they stop taking them to the hospital and fractured bones are left to mend on their own.

This world is broken.

And this season I feel like I'm waiting.

Hope has come.  Light has come.  Joy has come.  Love has come.

I celebrate Christmas.  Saved because a Savior came.

And I wait.

I wait for Him.

With the Hope, Light, Joy, and Love He has given.







Friday, December 4, 2015

The cost of adoption

I've thought about writing this post for some time, but I have been kind of dreading it.  Even today, I was laying with Bea at my parents' house... eating a long john (from Trax Farms- SO good) and reading my mom's Shape magazine (the irony is not lost on me), thinking about writing this post.  I decided to write it after I finished my treat.  I may have taken an unnecessarily long time eating the donut- although it is more like the size of 2 regular donuts... And none of this matters.

One of the questions we get asked the most is, how much the adoption is going to cost.  So I'm going to write about the cost of our adoption and how we will pay for it.

Our adoption is expected to cost around 35,000 dollars.  Which is a lot of money- not many people have an extra 35,000 dollars.

 The initial reaction is often outrage that adoption is so expensive.  There are so many children in need of homes and so many people with homes who want children.  So.... ya know.  It seems like it shouldn't be so complicated.  And at first look, that is how it seems.  But what I have come to realize is- brace yourselves- 35,000 dollars is not that much money.

When you have a detailed break down of where the money goes and what it accomplishes- it is an understandable amount.  There are a lot of people- different organizations, agencies, and 2 governments involved in the adoption process.  Although expensive, and what at times can feel like endless paperwork...
The alternative- an adoption not so strictly regulated would be less safe for the orphans and leave the door to corruption wide open.

We are fortunate to be adopting from a Hague convention country

So..the reason I have not been looking forward to this post is because no one loves talking about money.  It makes me feel a little nervous- seriously if you could see me right now- my shoulders are scrunched up to my ears.

I'm not sure if that's a normal reaction... Anyway, my fear is that I may unintentionally offend someone.  Money tends to be a sensitive subject.. And-

Here's the thing, I'm a straight talker.  I call things like I see them and honesty rarely offends me.

We don't have 35,000 dollars.  The last 3 yrs we have tried to save as much as we could.  And not like on top of our retirement funds or in addition to our savings account.  But like, What savings account? We have an adoption account. We are (pretty) confident that we will be able to, without taking out a loan, pay 20,000 dollars of the adoption fees.

The rest we will hopefully raise with support of friends and family, a yet to be determined fundraiser, and adoption grants.

Our support letters are almost ready to be mailed out.  If I am going to be honest, which we have already established- I am.  Ugh, I so wish this wasn't a necessary step.  Asking for prayer support- YES, great, let's do it. Asking for financial support... slightly harder.

I really don't think it is a pride thing for me- so much as I know how hard everyone works and I feel bad asking you to make a sacrifice for my family. And I know that everything is a gift from God- finances most definitely included- but still asking.  Asking is hard.  Receiving is hard.

We have already seen such generosity from friends and family- generosity of funds and generosity of spirit, of encouragement, of "Hey we are SO excited for you and we want you to know we are praying."-- and every time it is surprising, and overwhelming- beautiful and humbling. A direct answer to prayer- a powerful reminder of the goodness and faithfulness of our God.

And that is the BEST.  Just the best feeling.

But it is also hard. Because so often I am not very good and so often I am unfaithful.  And it has always been a struggle for me to be given SO much more than what I deserve.

But Hallelujah- God is not limited by my limitations. God is not limited by my limitations. God is not limited by my limitations.

Sometimes I like to repeat that over and over again..