We found Roman in pretty much the same way that we found Martina- through Reece's Rainbow's waiting child list.

We know he was born prematurely and he had a shunt placed to treat hydrocephalus.  

We also know Roman is a twin and his (healthy) brother went home with their parents.

That last bit- is some rough information.  It's important to know that Roman is in a different country and children with special needs are often given up for adoption in Eastern Europe.  

We may never know exactly why Roman was placed in an orphanage- but there are many factors in play and I'm sure his birth parents carefully and painfully made the decision. I can't imagine there is a day that passes when they don't look at Roman's brother and wonder...

I can't imagine.

And I am so thankful that my family has access to amazing health and education resources.  

Martina had her first day of pre-K preschool this week.  She is enrolled in a DART classroom- that is conveniently located at South Park Elementary Center-where Dexter and Bea go to school.  

When we made the decision to adopt Roman- one of the things that fell so heavily into the let's do this / it's really not that crazy category- was that we have so much.

Don't get me wrong- we are firmly situated in the middle (probably to lower) class- BUT o my gosh- we have SO much.

All of our kids are well fed and clothed- they all go to school and to the doctor.  Martina has many services provided through the county.  I mean seriously, we take all these things for granted but they are a huge blessing.

Perhaps Disneyland or world or wherever childhood dreams come true- isn't in the cards for our kids.
(Not an attack on Disney goers and lovers!!!  You go- you love!)

But between yesterday and today they rode their bikes, had a late night campfire with the neighborhood kids, visited Mimi and Buppa, played with cousins, had another campfire, had hotdogs, and smores...

And in the past nine months they have seen their sister become part of our family.  They have kissed her and hugged her- pushed her around in wagons and strollers (sometimes big cardboard boxes)- and sometimes they've complained about her therapy sessions and Dr appointments- or been annoyed when we have had to change the way we do things- to include this new sister.

Dexter, Bea, and Simon have made sacrifices- some they recognize- but most they have no idea they're making.

When you have more kids- you don't get more time or more money (although technically you get some nice tax credits- but I wouldn't recommend having a kid for the credit...it doesn't break even!).

So there will be school fieldtrips that mom can't go on,  there will be sport commitments/schedules that can't be kept, and there will be trips we can't afford.

As a parent, there is a large part of me that wants to give my kids all of these things.

But there is this other part of me that wants so much more for my kids than the perfect childhood-  My kids will dream of Disney- I have no doubt- and perhaps some day will get to go-

 but will they love full heartedly, sacrificially?  Will they recognize that people should always hold a higher value than things?

I want that for them.  Will they look back on their childhood and remember everything they weren't able to do- or will they remember campfires and bike rides and the magic of bringing a sister and brother home.

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