God is good, always

So I left things unresolved yesterday. Partly because I was tired of thinking/writing...and partly because the struggle to understand, was a real struggle for me.

 God is good.  God is faithful.  God provides.  God is love.

Children are hungry.  Children are dirty.  Children are neglected.

The question has been asked by many, If God is good why do bad things happen?

The answer is simple and one I have given many times-- sin.  Sin is why.

Seeing children suffer led me to rethink this simple answer.

Seeing hunger, seeing unimaginable neglect, made me question the simplicity of this answer.  Because suddenly my soul was crying, "Why God, why?"

I've wondered if part of the problem lies in my upbringing.  The fact that I have never wanted for anything. Maybe...

Maybe because I have always taken comfort in Matthew 6

25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 

27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? 

28 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 

30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 

I have a history of anxiety- which may be why I have always been drawn to these verses. It's comforting, right?  

It speaks to the worrier in me!  

I have always read it as- God's got this- relax- you are silly for worrying- everything will work out.  

But like I said above, I have never wanted for anything. 

 It wasn't until hunger and nakedness stood in front of me, that I wondered...How have I misinterpreted these verses? 

To help you picture things, I will tell you this.  My prayer for some was, "Lord send someone to love them, send someone to feed them and clothe them, and hold them-- Or God take them.  Let them be loved and fed and clothed by You."

The needs were great.

What was I missing?  This wasn't a question of wanting a certain kind of food, or brand name clothing.  This was a need for nourishment and protection.  

I think it important I tell you, that through this struggle I have never doubted God's existence or the relationship I have with Him.  It was during this time of searching that I felt His presence stronger than ever before.

He was with me every painful, heartbreaking step of the way.  Encouraging me to seek Him for truth.  To trust Him and not my emotions (which were all over the place...I'm very emotional...).  To find Him in the midst of my struggle to understand.  

And it came to me.  An answer- not found in online commentary made by people MUCH smarter than I- but in His still small voice.

"You're missing Me"

And I was.  I missed Him.  

"Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?"

JoLynne, isn't the unseen more important than the seen?  Isn't the kingdom of God more important than earthly things?  Isn't the eternal more important than the temporary?

The scripture to me suddenly read differently. 

 It wasn't saying our needs would be met here on earth- it was saying our true need lies in Him.

Our need... is a need for a Savior.

Because our sin wages death.

Why do bad things happen?  Why are there children hungry? Broken? Unwanted?

Because of sin.  The answer is simple.  

It's just a hard answer to hear. 

And it has left me looking at the destruction sin causes, asking...Now what?